The other day, as I was escorting a couple back to the airport after a long & fruitful day at the clinic, It came to my mind, the kind of work I do: I thought of how much holding they need on this journey.
Not only physically-by bringing to clinic;
Not only as an interpreter-explaining terms they have never heard off before, procedures to go through etc. it is the small things that count- a genuine smile, constant eye contact, showing I’m there with them every step of the way, that I understand what they are going through- the uncertainty, the unknown, the need to pick & choose- surrogates, genders;
To come to terms with the way they are bringing children into this world, to overcome embarrassment, enabling to accept the various procedures they are going through as natural & stress free as possible. Eg. Picking a donor, giving sperm.
I was able to light a candle at the end of the tunnel, to hold their hopes & fantasies of a happy family waiting for them, to help them feel the sacredness of the experience. Come what may. Simply by being with them along the way, as an address to answer all questions, as a witness to the process they are going through, as someone to listen to the ups & downs along the way, I realized, how important this role is, how gentle & kind you have to be.
A true listener, a warm welcome, someone who really cares! You have to have patience, stamina, and a great belief in the process, in order to capture all of the above, to be able to hold them until the happy end. For me, this is the essence of my job, my life, my call, and I’m doing this from the bottom of my heart.